As a July baby, I feel that I’m within my rights to say July is probably one of the worst months in the year. Don’t get me wrong, I love summer. Hittin’ up the beach with my friends and a couple of margaritas is one of my favorite pastimes.
But I hate the heat. Or, more specifically, the humidity. And hell hath no humidity like Beirut’s July.
The solution is easy: ponytails, ice-cold water bottles, and bikinis.
The idea of a bikini is pretty straightforward: a two-piece swimsuit that’s small enough to keep you from sweating profusely in the hot summer sun, and yet conceals enough to be considered semi-covered while on the beach (where the standards for decency aren’t that high).
That being said, I’ve seen some seriously weird bathing suits on the sandy beaches of Lebanon. Some women look like they’ve been dressed by Xena Warrior Princess, and others like they found some really long strips of cloth and decided to wrap them haphazardly around their more intimate parts.
My first thought is always, “Hmm. Odd, but couture?”
It’s funny that I’d think that, because I don’t actually know what “couture” is. Say the word to me, and the image that will pop into my head is of a model on a runway wearing a giant neon abomination while the audience claps in approval.
Even though everyone knows that no one would wear it off the runway.
So when I see something like the pictures above, all I feel is sympathy for the girl who will most definitely have an atrocious tan line by the end of the day.
Cutouts, randomly placed strings, and all weirdly shaped bikinis in general will, without a doubt, leave your skin looking like the Monet’s lost work of art at the end of your beach day.
But hey, if that’s what floats your boat, who am I to judge? Pattern yourself away! In any case, it’ll make for one hell of an accessory to your party dress, right?